The sweet haze seduction


My adolescent memories smell a bit like jasmine.

Sweet, sweet haze, oh how you seduce me. What are you made of? Eggs, flour and nostalgia. I import my nostalgia mostly from adolescence, a distant land that I remember as carefree, sweet-smelling and filled with hormones that had very vivid imaginations.

My memories from youth are a fusion of invention and reality. They are memories of potential, of what may be possible. My career? Maybe I really can be a triple threat. That boy? Maybe he imagines making out with me too. That trip? Maybe accumulating my driver’s permit miles on a road trip from California to Nebraska will be a poetic metaphor rather than a straight-ahead surge on Interstate 80.


It was after childhood, when everything was emotion, meals and baths.

It was before college, when I lived as though life was a film, a means through which to collect of out-of-body experiences that would make for good stories later.

Adolescence was a sweet time. To like five boys at once and imagine what it would be like to kiss each one. That one in a cabin, that one at the beach, that one at the movies… Imagining was preferable to trying the real thing. That way the memory of wanting lives on, remembered in a sweet haze.

Inspired by The Daily Post.

Book release party! If You Have to Ask is out in the world!

You’re invited to a book release party for If You Have to Ask, which is now available! Hooray!


No, that’s not true. I’ve always been optimistic and committed. But still, it’s exciting to have it be for reals really real. I hope you can join me to toast an indie accomplishment. And by indie I mean indie published, but community supported. It wouldn’t be here, existing on the interwebs, if it weren’t for many collaborators and supporters. Thank you.

CroquetParty details

Sunday, June 1, 3-6pm; Contact me for location

What to expect: Cocktails, snacks and print books for sale. I can autograph them if you like. We’ll set up croquet, too.

Can’t make it? Your support matters! Please consider reading the book and sharing your review online and with friends. Bonus! I’m giving away 10 free copies on Goodreads.

Thank you, friends

If this is in any order, it’s chronological:

Continue reading

What’s the best blurb? Please vote for your favorite!

photo of flowers

Please accept these flowers as a thank you for taking the 90 second survey.

It’s happening, you guys. Final stages. If You Have to Ask will be available next month!

I’m working with a designer on the book cover and want to work with you on the book blurb. Which do you think has the best hook? It will take you 90 seconds to let me know, and I’ll be so super grateful that I’ll send you a free signed copy if you’d like one. There is a place in the survey to leave your email so that I can contact you for your address.

Please take the survey now! Thank you, friends.

What the readers say: Latest reviews of Bea’s Notes

The story has left the station. Find Bea's Notes on Amazon.

The story has left the station. Find Bea’s Notes on Amazon.

I used to write in a diary, which was a great thing for an only child growing up overseas with very crooked teeth. It was something I could do for myself to keep myself company. My diary was almost like a first teddy bear. Yes, I understood it was an inanimate object, but really, it was very easy to image it was something more, like a pal.

But now that my teeth are straight and my teddy bears have gone off to the stuffed animal playground in the sky, I want not to write in a diary for myself, but in a format to share with others. Which is why my first handful of Amazon reviews for Bea’s Notes are so exciting.

People are responding. What are they saying?

WolfAlice: Warm and Clever

For a pair of scientists, our two young lovers have a lot of heart, too. This is a delightful, light look at a newbie’s early sexual experiences. I love that Bea is inexperienced but open, awkward but unashamed. Highly recommended.

Jan K: Funny/touching trip back to your 20s

Bea captures what it’s like to have your first halting experiences with sex during college, with a twist: since she’s a future scientist, she and her partner in crime, Peter, approach the process as a lab experiment. She sets out to control everything controllable, and even hypothesizes about possible outcomes. The joke, of course, is that how they both feel about their experiences, and about each other, isn’t so easily controlled, quantified, or understood. She’s right that this will always be a “baseline experience.” But how she sees it emotionally will change from minute to minute, and will continue to evolve into a future where there are more experiences to compare it to.

Kells seamlessly creates an endearing character making an earnest effort to understand herself. Bea is believable, relatable, and yet totally original.

Anonymous: A sweet story about discovering sex, and about writing about discovering sex…

This story features some really poignant “coming of age” details, from the contemporary (the excitement of being called to go out on a date, rather than texted) to the timeless (tension in the differences between male and female arousal). The author treats the themes with an open-eyed tenderness, conveying sexual discovery in a universally relatable way that belies the uniqueness of human experience.

Please review it too!

Read all the reviews of Bea’s Notes on Amazon and buy your own copy of the short story while you’re there! It’s only $0.99. Then please consider leaving your own review. It’s greatly appreciated, because you actually can talk back, unlike my diaries and teddy bears.

Thank you, reviewers!