Free short story on figuring out first times: Bea’s Notes, May 29-31

Featured on Freebooksy

Bea’s Notes was selected!

Bea, a university bio student, is approaching her new love life methodically. Want to know more about her quest to have a fulfilling experience with her maybe boyfriend?

Find out free! Bea’s Notes is free to download May 29-31. I’d love to know what you think of the story, so please let me know.

I’m delighted that Bea’s Notes was featured today on Freebooksy!

Hooray for reading and for discovering new authors!

More about the story: Bea is a transfer student at a mid-tier public university in California. She’s happy to have left home to study biology and live in a dorm with four girls crammed into one tiny room. She is even happier to finally be doing it. Unknown to Peter, her maybe boyfriend, she is keeping notes, just like she does for biology class, so that she has a baseline for their new experiment in getting it on.  

 

 

What the readers say: Latest reviews of Bea’s Notes

The story has left the station. Find Bea's Notes on Amazon.

The story has left the station. Find Bea’s Notes on Amazon.

I used to write in a diary, which was a great thing for an only child growing up overseas with very crooked teeth. It was something I could do for myself to keep myself company. My diary was almost like a first teddy bear. Yes, I understood it was an inanimate object, but really, it was very easy to image it was something more, like a pal.

But now that my teeth are straight and my teddy bears have gone off to the stuffed animal playground in the sky, I want not to write in a diary for myself, but in a format to share with others. Which is why my first handful of Amazon reviews for Bea’s Notes are so exciting.

People are responding. What are they saying?

WolfAlice: Warm and Clever

For a pair of scientists, our two young lovers have a lot of heart, too. This is a delightful, light look at a newbie’s early sexual experiences. I love that Bea is inexperienced but open, awkward but unashamed. Highly recommended.

Jan K: Funny/touching trip back to your 20s

Bea captures what it’s like to have your first halting experiences with sex during college, with a twist: since she’s a future scientist, she and her partner in crime, Peter, approach the process as a lab experiment. She sets out to control everything controllable, and even hypothesizes about possible outcomes. The joke, of course, is that how they both feel about their experiences, and about each other, isn’t so easily controlled, quantified, or understood. She’s right that this will always be a “baseline experience.” But how she sees it emotionally will change from minute to minute, and will continue to evolve into a future where there are more experiences to compare it to.

Kells seamlessly creates an endearing character making an earnest effort to understand herself. Bea is believable, relatable, and yet totally original.

Anonymous: A sweet story about discovering sex, and about writing about discovering sex…

This story features some really poignant “coming of age” details, from the contemporary (the excitement of being called to go out on a date, rather than texted) to the timeless (tension in the differences between male and female arousal). The author treats the themes with an open-eyed tenderness, conveying sexual discovery in a universally relatable way that belies the uniqueness of human experience.

Please review it too!

Read all the reviews of Bea’s Notes on Amazon and buy your own copy of the short story while you’re there! It’s only $0.99. Then please consider leaving your own review. It’s greatly appreciated, because you actually can talk back, unlike my diaries and teddy bears.

Thank you, reviewers!

Humorous erotica? Is that a thing?

The other day my friend Michele mentioned humorous erotica. Wait. Is that a real thing, I asked? Sure, she said. Ah-ha! I thought. Maybe that’s what I wrote?

Photo of lights in branches

Romantic lights to get you in the mood.

Here’s what I know for sure:

1. Bea’s Notes is meant to be funny and realistic. It’s not sexy times through a fuzzy filter. It’s the real, awkward, deal. I loved reading Judy Blume when I was younger, so I was definitely inspired by her books. I’m thinking of Forever.

2. I started writing the short story when I realized I had a hard time writing sexy times in my novel. The scenes always ended up hilarious, even when they were supposed to be, well, sexy. So I went with it in Bea’s Notes.

Okay. So, I promise I won’t keep writing about Bea’s Notes, but while it’s available for free, I want to let people know it’s there (until January 11).

Read an excerpt:

Bea was so wet she felt soggy.

It had been raining for three days straight and everything was damp to its core. Deeply damp, Bea thought. She was rushing back to her dorm in yet another downpour, her hood pulled low over her forehead. Her backpack was heavy on her shoulders, the papers inside no longer dry. Bea didn’t believe in umbrellas, they were too encumbering. She preferred to rely as much as possible on her own brain and body, so she dashed from one overhang to the next and tried to read the sky.

Finally Bea reached Manzanita Hall, where all the biology and botany and forestry majors lived in a Tudor style industrial block. You could wring out these bricks like a sponge, Bea thought. She used her key card to get into the building and walked the three flights of linoleum stairs to the room built for two girls that now housed four. Bea would have taken the elevator except she was wearing her pedometer and wanted to be sure to reach her 10,000-step goal for the day. When she opened the door, she saw that no one else was home, so she plopped down on the bottom bunk where Meredith slept. Meredith always made her bed as though she lived in some scene from a lifestyle magazine. She had decorative pillows, with fringe and lace and everything. They were really soft but seemed sort of ridiculous because in reality, Bea knew, the room was like a business envelope: full of promise, but in actuality, filled with junk. That was something her father liked to say.

Bea had been in lab since nine that morning, recreating an experiment she’d done in high school. It was stupid, not especially challenging, but not especially easy either. Just stupid.

What do you want from a mid-tier public university? Bea had thought to herself during a lunch break of pretzels and frozen yogurt. That said, Woodland was the right place for her, because she wasn’t exactly the best and the brightest. She was mid-tier, too. It didn’t bother Bea. She was happy to be free of the pressures she saw her older sister suffer, always having to come up with some new collaborative humanitarian project or non-profit organization. Bea knew she didn’t want to go to grad school.

Whatever, thought Bea. She’ll be a virgin for ten more years and I’ve already done it three times!

Want to read about her first four times? Bea’s Notes is free for Kindle through January 11.

Don’t own a Kindle? It’s okay! Kindle books can be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry or Android.

Moral of the story? Don’t eat a burrito on a date.

Photo of a dried meat market.

Dried meats are probably okay on a date. Or are they? Tell me in the comments.

Below is an excerpt from Bea’s Notes, which is free for Kindle through January 11. That’s 100% off the cover price! Seriously, I’m a discount shopper and 100% is nuts. I never see that at TJMaxx or Marshalls.

Don’t own a Kindle? It’s okay! Kindle books can be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry or Android.

Here we join Bea and Peter late in the story:

About an hour later, they got ready for bed. There had been some kissing, but not much because it turned out that burritos were really hard to digest. Bea would have been happy to fall asleep holding hands. She didn’t even feel like doing it that much anymore, but would soon have her period, which meant a whole week without doing it.

“I’m really full,” Peter said.

Bea agreed. She was growing slightly worried that she might have to use the bathroom in a big way, which she really didn’t want to do because Peter’s bathroom didn’t have a fan and it shared a wall with his bedroom. Bea tried to pray the urge away, even though as a biologist she didn’t believe in anyone or anything hearing her prayers. I’ll pray to probiotics, she thought, which didn’t make much sense.

Peter put on Miles Davis again and shut the door to his room. Bea sat on his bed, a king, which was a little crazy for a college student. He liked to spread out at night, he explained, when she first saw it. I sleep like a starfish, he had said.

“We have to do it,” Bea announced, when Peter sat down next to her.

“Okay,” he said, and pulled a condom out of his top dresser drawer. He opened a different drawer to find the lube that she had bought after the first time. He put them both on the nightstand, like a staging area. He also kept a white mug stained with coffee on the nightstand. There was a big blue whale on it, with a rainbow coming out of the waterspout.

“Sit down next to me,” Bea said.

Peter did as he was told. She leaned towards him and they began to kiss in that small, warm way that he had taught her. Bea felt her stomach settle and relax. She pushed into him with an urgency that surprised her. Their lips mashed together, like they were both looking for something. Bea reached around his head and tugged on his hair, moving her mouth from his lips to his cheeks to his ears to his neck. He had shaved that night and she could smell the crème he used, which smelled like a woodpile after rain, the kind of thing you’d smell at the lake house. She pushed Peter back onto the bed and pulled his shirt from his pants. It was so cute that he tucked in his shirt for their dates.

///

OMG, want to know what happens next? You can, for NOTHING. Bea’s Notes is free for Kindle through January 11.

Did you take methodical notes about your first time? Read Bea’s Notes free Jan. 7-11

Oh, first times. Where was yours? Mine was at a Hilton overlooking a water park. I’ve never looked at giant water slides the same since.

What about your favorite first time in a movie? Stealing Beauty has one of the best, I think. Liv Tyler gets it on in the Tuscan countryside under an olive tree. I wanted a do-over after I saw that movie.

As for Bea and Peter, the awkward but sweet stars of my short story Bea’s Notes, they do it in his apartment, after he agrees to launder the sheets.

Bea's Notes by Lauren Kells

Bea’s Notes by Lauren Kells

More about the story

Bea is a bio major who has had sex with Peter three times now. When she started going out with him she also started a field book. It’s filled with her notes about what they’ve tried and how it felt so that she can get a baseline experience. From there, she can start hypothesizing about what may work best for her.

Bea is methodical. And now, she’s ready to make her next entry. (I think we all know what that means.)

Free, January 7-11, 2014

Bea’s Notes is a short story available for Kindle. Don’t own a Kindle? It’s okay! Kindle books can be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry or Android.

Download Bea’s Notes while you can! Please consider sharing this offer with your friends, too, on your fave social media.

I’d love to know what you think, and if it reminds you of your own first awkward discoveries. That’s what comments are for!

Or share your favorite first times in books and movies.

Bea’s Notes is ready to tickle you.

Bea is a bio major who has had sex with Peter three times now. When she started going out with him she also started a field book. It’s filled with her notes about what they’ve tried and how it felt so that she can get a baseline experience. From there, she can start hypothesizing about what may work best for her. Now she’s ready to make her next entry.

Available for Kindle

Bea’s Notes is a short story available for Kindle. Don’t own a Kindle? It’s okay! Kindle books can be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry or Android.

Read more about Bea’s Notes, including an excerpt. Or, buy it now.