Moral of the story? Don’t eat a burrito on a date.

Photo of a dried meat market.

Dried meats are probably okay on a date. Or are they? Tell me in the comments.

Below is an excerpt from Bea’s Notes, which is free for Kindle through January 11. That’s 100% off the cover price! Seriously, I’m a discount shopper and 100% is nuts. I never see that at TJMaxx or Marshalls.

Don’t own a Kindle? It’s okay! Kindle books can be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry or Android.

Here we join Bea and Peter late in the story:

About an hour later, they got ready for bed. There had been some kissing, but not much because it turned out that burritos were really hard to digest. Bea would have been happy to fall asleep holding hands. She didn’t even feel like doing it that much anymore, but would soon have her period, which meant a whole week without doing it.

“I’m really full,” Peter said.

Bea agreed. She was growing slightly worried that she might have to use the bathroom in a big way, which she really didn’t want to do because Peter’s bathroom didn’t have a fan and it shared a wall with his bedroom. Bea tried to pray the urge away, even though as a biologist she didn’t believe in anyone or anything hearing her prayers. I’ll pray to probiotics, she thought, which didn’t make much sense.

Peter put on Miles Davis again and shut the door to his room. Bea sat on his bed, a king, which was a little crazy for a college student. He liked to spread out at night, he explained, when she first saw it. I sleep like a starfish, he had said.

“We have to do it,” Bea announced, when Peter sat down next to her.

“Okay,” he said, and pulled a condom out of his top dresser drawer. He opened a different drawer to find the lube that she had bought after the first time. He put them both on the nightstand, like a staging area. He also kept a white mug stained with coffee on the nightstand. There was a big blue whale on it, with a rainbow coming out of the waterspout.

“Sit down next to me,” Bea said.

Peter did as he was told. She leaned towards him and they began to kiss in that small, warm way that he had taught her. Bea felt her stomach settle and relax. She pushed into him with an urgency that surprised her. Their lips mashed together, like they were both looking for something. Bea reached around his head and tugged on his hair, moving her mouth from his lips to his cheeks to his ears to his neck. He had shaved that night and she could smell the crème he used, which smelled like a woodpile after rain, the kind of thing you’d smell at the lake house. She pushed Peter back onto the bed and pulled his shirt from his pants. It was so cute that he tucked in his shirt for their dates.


OMG, want to know what happens next? You can, for NOTHING. Bea’s Notes is free for Kindle through January 11.

Did you take methodical notes about your first time? Read Bea’s Notes free Jan. 7-11

Oh, first times. Where was yours? Mine was at a Hilton overlooking a water park. I’ve never looked at giant water slides the same since.

What about your favorite first time in a movie? Stealing Beauty has one of the best, I think. Liv Tyler gets it on in the Tuscan countryside under an olive tree. I wanted a do-over after I saw that movie.

As for Bea and Peter, the awkward but sweet stars of my short story Bea’s Notes, they do it in his apartment, after he agrees to launder the sheets.

Bea's Notes by Lauren Kells

Bea’s Notes by Lauren Kells

More about the story

Bea is a bio major who has had sex with Peter three times now. When she started going out with him she also started a field book. It’s filled with her notes about what they’ve tried and how it felt so that she can get a baseline experience. From there, she can start hypothesizing about what may work best for her.

Bea is methodical. And now, she’s ready to make her next entry. (I think we all know what that means.)

Free, January 7-11, 2014

Bea’s Notes is a short story available for Kindle. Don’t own a Kindle? It’s okay! Kindle books can be read using the Free Kindle Reader App for your Web Browser, iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry or Android.

Download Bea’s Notes while you can! Please consider sharing this offer with your friends, too, on your fave social media.

I’d love to know what you think, and if it reminds you of your own first awkward discoveries. That’s what comments are for!

Or share your favorite first times in books and movies.